Poo Balls

Ok you all might have noticed that I used to have a blurb on the top box about my dog and the shampooing habits of me on that dog.
Yes my dog gets poop balls that hang onto his hair on his rear. He is an inside dog. He is part Maltese, Shitzu and Poodle. No dog of mine is coming in with poo on his rear. If I let him suffer outside he cries so piteously that my neighbors think that I'm squeezing him so therefore I have a dog washing bucket outside and I constantly am washing the dog. I recently heard its because he is part poodle and poodle's are poo ballers.
Dogs like my breed feel bad about the Poo Balls waving on the hiney and will eat them off if you make them stay outside because the poo balls waving shames and disgusts the master. My dog is actually humiliated when I say "YUK!! YOU ARE NOT COMING IN THIS HOUSE WITH THAT SH*** ON YOU" and he slinks away with head and tail down and will try to groom his hiney in accordance with my expectations.
Well the only thing worse to me than seeing Poo Balls on my dog when he wants to come in after relieving himself is watching him EAT them off his butt.
*sigh*
So I get the huge bucket and fill it with one small bucket of water and 3 of cool and then wash. Seeing me wash the dog's ass embarrasses and disgusts my 13 year old.
He gags. He ewwwwws and eeeeeeks. This irritates me and causes blood to pump at maximum speed through my veins. Then I start in on the lectures. You know, the ones all about how I was raised on a farm in North Dakota and we had to scrub sh** every day from barns and had to do chore and walk 5 miles to school and blah blah blah.
He slinks away and then I finish the dog.

One time my son was really deathly ill with the flu and high fever and my dog got diarrhea the same day. I spent 2 days sponging down my son with tepid water and then washing down the dog. I was exhausted and beyond frustrated and at one point forgot who I was washing or sponging. To get the dog to stay outside longer I was giving him the training liver treats in a Kong (Hard plastic thing you put treats in to keep them busy trying to get them out). The dog was just leaking poo, way past poo ball stage. I finally after 2 days figured out that it just might be the liver treats. As soon as I stopped them he stopped leaking crap.

I now ask the groomers to shave a perfect 1 1/2 inch square around his hiney. This alleviates most poo balls. He looks like a white monkey with a nekkid bumm but who cares, I'm not washing him every day and there is less poo balls waving on his back end like bells on a tambourine.