Friday, October 01, 2010

Never enough drama

So I've been feeling great lately. The 21 day break between chemos is a godsend. I have enjoyed every minute of it. Not taking one second for granted. I lay my head down each night with a smile and wake up happy to be up.

So happy and well in fact; that Sunday morning I tackled the patio and its dusty and cobwebby chairs and tables and the odds and ends that gather themselves out on a patio during the summer months. I slipped on my flip flops. The kind that are really thongs but we cant say thongs for footwear any more because people think of slingshot underwear now when we say the word thongs. In the olden days though thongs were rubbery thin plasticy sandals that you wore to the beach. And where ever else you could get away with slipping them on and running to.

Any way.

So I slip on my flip flops and begin brooming down the cobwebs. My what a prolific year for spiders! There was so much dust and little bits of leaves stuck to the webs so I got out the hose and decided to just power hose everything. I felt a sting in my toes and looked down.

I got bit.

Spider bite.

Black widows frolicking all over patio.

Im ticking them off with broom and hose.

I go in the house and show my husband and he comes out side to see where I got bit. Which thinking of it now seems kind of funny, like who cares where outside I got bit? Is it location location location like when you buy a new business? Hmmm I will have to ask him about that.
I was slipping on my flip flops to show him where I was standing when I shrieked and kicked off the shoes and said. "Oh my god it might still be in there" I flicked the left one off first and this huge black widow spider fell off the shoe. I just stared at it for 20 seconds. My husband said" Get your things and lets get to Urgent Care.

Urgent Care.
Good things can be said about Urgant Care Facilities.

I cant think of any so lets skip to the part where they tell me that Nothing is wrong with me and the spider mustve bit me but left no venom and sent me on my way.

We had tickets to the circus so proceeded on our way there. I was texting and bragging that I fought a black widow and won.

i did not.

During the circus I started feeling back spasms and my chest tightening. then I felt immense pain in my foot.

Off we go to the Emergancy Room.

Did you know all you have to do to clear an Emergancy Room is hold up a ziploc baggy with a black widow spider in it and grab your chest?

Its amazing the service they give you there when you do that. ESPECIALLY when you are a bald cancer patient wheezing that they need a face mask for the germs.

There is anti venom for black widow bites.

They just cant give it to you.

The antivenom is worse for you than the black widow spider bite so you just have to live through it.

They gave me happy happy pills and then they doped me with pain meds and sent me home. I do not at all remember what went on in this house Monday or Tuesday even though I was here and on the couch. My husband slept on the floor by my side.

I dont even remember how I got home from the hospital I was that doped.

The good news is that I know a lot more about black widows than I ever did before.

The bad news is that the patio still needs to be cleaned.

1 comment:

Kayte said...

OMW, the things you get into over there! What a story...I would have freaked out at the spiderwebs and had someone else do them...I am not brave when it comes to spiders at all. And I don't think you should be anymore either!! You have such a funny way of telling things..."clearing out the ER" made me giggle. Hugs.