I used the "Grounding" punishment for the first time day before yesterday. I was very very angry and upset and dissappointed with my son and grounded him for a month. From his laptop, girlfriend and movies. He can "lightly" text. I let him keep texting because we can't call him at school.
He has 3 big school projects upcoming and I took Monday off of work so that he had the whole 3 day weekend with the computer and printer and me at his beck and call to help. He is involved in Science Olympiad and also needed to start making the project for Music Science. We were to go to get the supplies during that 3 days also..... He also was to practice his piano and read his required reading.
After School on Friday I picked up his girlfriend and his friends and took them out for tacos because I felt bad that he wouldnt see her for the 3 day weekend but he had so very much to do........
On Saturday he spent so much time on his phone and he kept begging me to let him go at least bowling on Monday. I said no a gajjilion times but dang it I totally caved and gave in to two hours only of bowling on Monday, just to get him off the phone making plans....... IF he got his stuff done.
He farted around the whole 3 days on his phone and IM and making all the plans for the bowling and for the following weekend and then dinked around on his laptop and just basically did nothing but talk and play and make plans for that Monday.
He left for bowling at 11:30 and didnt come back until 4:30, the WHOLE day just gone! poof, the whole weekend GONE and nothing done............ I checked what he had done so far on his reports......just a page ONE PAGE!
He got home and I totally nagged him to hurry up and at least get something done....I went to see how he was doing after 45 minutes and he was texting, playing on his laptop AND talking to his girlfriend on the phone!
Steam was BILLOWING from my ears.
I grounded him for one month to relieve him of the necessity to make plans, waste time worrying if I am or am not going to let him go anywhere and from me having to argue about it all. He needed obviously to be relieved of the obligation to make plans of any sort because he takes hours and days making plans and talking and deciding for that plan.So I said, "You need one month off and I'm giving it to you, you will be restricted from everything that stands in your way of accomplishing your school work and obligations."
Cross your fingers that I stick to it.
See, I grew up in a family that just said no to everything, I was not allowed extra curricular school activities nor was I allowed to do things with my friends. Just NO to everything. I try to be different and allow him to be a normal part of society, I grew up clueless. But then he takes advantage and I blew up........
I want to stick to this punishment though. He spends so much time COMMUNICATING. in all forms..........the rules are so different now than when I was a kid. We didnt have this many devices to communicate.
*sigh* I sincerely want to stick to this one month so he can see how much time he wastes on everything. He said last night that he understood some of the punishment but not the taking away the girlfriend for a month, he even begged me to say yes to her coming over on Friday afternoons and I said no because we are taking up time again argueing about it, just NO for one month. Then I sit in the kitchen and chew all my fingernails off because I worry that I'm too mean and he'll be rebellious later because I crack down too hard. I watch Dr. Phil and see shows on husbands that yell at their wives and then worry that my yelling will be considered mental abuse later or something.
Wish us well.