Ok so I dont know how many of you have been following along closely but if you have you will have taken note of the fact that my husband and I are going through somewhat of a transition period. We are readjusting to each other. We have a teen son in the house and this has made all kinds of changes in the perspective and attitude of the parental figures.
My husbands new interest lately has been in going out. I call it going out "out" to differentiate from regular going out. Going out as a family or going out to dinner versus going out "out" just the two of us. It has rarely happened. This is a very sad fact that I encourage no one else to let happen. Go out and go OFTEN with your spouse with out kids.
Now let me say this again. My husband has developed the current interest in going out "out". That means to the clubs. To Bars. To Bistros. To Danceclubs. To Dance. To Drink and to dance. Ok did you hear me? To dance. Back in the day they were called 'discos'. My husband before child days would say "Do you want to go to the disco?" and I'd reply yes (usually). Now they do NOT call them discos and when you go out often it is called clubbing. Back in the day; clubbing was something bad hunters did to the heads of bears. Clubbing nowadays is much different than going to the discos back in my day. It is a weekend sport that you do. It has rules today. Back in the day you just had to have cover charge and a nice black outfit and enough money for one drink. You stood or danced or talked or even danced with your girlfriends if without a guy.
Today you must be bootyliscious. TO JUST GET IN TO THE PLACE>
I'm a little plump but not tiny waisted and bootyliscious. I'm certainly not as boobyliscious as these girls are today either.
Boobaliscious. oh my. Did I just type that? yes! You must have a boobaliscious top on with a killer bra and tiny skirt and thigh high socks or something like that.
Something that shows tight cleavage of the boobs AND YOUR ASS! I cant believe how much cleavage below the belt was necessary for the outfit to be acceptable.
We went to a club together last Saturday night.
I have not often been invited to go with my husband and I asked him to take me out. He asked me to a downtown club and dinner before hand.
People I freaked like it was my first date.!!!
I got that son of mine an overnight sleepover plan in action faster than you could say...... um........... bootyliscious.
Then I dropped him off and went CRAZY all over town trying to find a cute/cool outfit that wouldnt date me nor make me look like a 42 year old in a juniors section outfit.
I ended up with a cute swingy black skirt, high heal black kick ass shoes and a cream halter top with gold threads running through it. It had a satin bow that tied up under the left breast. It was smokin hot on. I took hours with my hair and makeup and really put some "glam" on. I was so excited I was humming AND shaking.
My husband came home with FLOWERS!
He took one look at that low cut halter and his eyeballs rolled around and you know what he said? " WHat is all this (waving hand in front of cleavage that hasnt seen daylight since I was in junior high) about?"
Lordy people did I giggle???!! I giggled from that moment on during the whole date.
We went to dinnner, he opened car doors and restaraunt doors for me. I felt like a Princess. I floated on his arm. I really really felt special.
We drove an hour to downtown and parked. Oh my there were many loooong lines of KIDS.
KIDS. OH MY GOD THEY ARE ALL KIDS waiting in line. We were like ancient folk. I bravely put my head up on high and stood by my Man like the proud woman I should be. See; in those lines is lots of men my mans age but with young chicklets. My Man was with an old henlet. I bravely tossed that halters satin bow about a bit more and stood with all the chicklets and waited for the door man to notice my um........... what did I think was going to get us in? ............ Let's See. hmmmmmmmmmm.
See? Now a days atclubs you wait in line unless you know someone inside to get you in or the door man lets you in if you are young, a chic, or have big boobs or a cute tattoo on your ass cleavage. Skirts and boots get you in IF you arent wearing a bra. I noticed that thongs were getting in pretty fast. I had Granny unders on with little hula girls, my maxx risque panties. Hey! What can I say? I didnt KNOW what got me in.... Not that I can do flosswipe on my hiney very well but I'd be game to try if I get to go out again.
You are not going to get into a downtown hot club if you are a guy, a group of guys, flat and ugly or are an older couple out on a date on a saturday night with a yen for the club life again. My husband actually asked the man how we could get into this disco. oh my we stood there a LONG time after that. DISCO? The door man's eyebrows stood up by themselves.
We stood there until there were no more people and we were the last ones. The doorman said "What ARE you waiting for? I'm not letting you in." I said. "We are waiting for you to soften your heart" He unhooked the fat velvet rope and let us in.
It is a whole new world of dancers when you go clubbing instead of going to the disco.
Lets just say that back in the day it was all about big boobs and shoulders swinging and swaying and now you aint nothin' lest you can swing that back end like there is a belly dancer living in your pants.
Good lordy people it took me three rum and cokes to just kind of bounce around amongst all that bootylisciousness. Boobies and booties aflyin and grindin. 4or 5 people all rubbing up and down on each other in some kindof vertical backscratching motion. I had to hold my drink with one hand and my jaw up with the other. I was bouncing and wiggling but I had to stare at hubby to stop from gawking. He was loving it but then it did seem to be a mans dream land kind of place. I swear that there was at least $40,000 worth of Victoria Secret Secrets being shared vividly all over the place.
I had fun. I really did. It was a magical and fun and delightful evening. It was really a wonderful date. We left there at 2, we got home at 3:30 AM . I am still giggling about what happened from 3:30 to 4:30.
I wrote my husband a thank you note yesterday. It WAS THAT GREAT OF A DATE.